It's Not Over

Hello my dearest readers.
Yes. yes. I know that I have been absolutely negligent but I have multiple excuses.

• First and foremost: my computer, my lovely dinosaur that has served me well for years, finally bit the dust a few weeks ago. I allowed my brothers to use it and apparently, that was too much for the ancient beast to take. After a few weeks of Myspace Mafia wars and hit up booty calls, one night it began to engage in an endless reboot cycle (start screen, black screen, blue screen of death). Finally, with a little bit of tech support from my absolutely amazing sister, I was able to get it back up and save all my files. Unfortunately, the access to the internet was fried. It wouldn't connect to wifi or respond when it was connected via an ethernet cord. I am currently using my mom's computer.
• I started a new job. After a year of concentration on nothing but school, Firefly is now gainfully employed (although, I am still in school, too). I am working at a *skilled nursing facility and rehabilitation center.* In other words, a nursing home. It isn't as awful as you would think. Yes, there are some less than desirable things that my job involves but I actually enjoy helping people who could not otherwise help themselves. And I feel as if I am paying tribute to my grandparent's and great-grandparent's generation by assisting their peers in their activities of daily living.
• School started back last week. Adult Nursing 1, Mental Health Nursing, and Introduction to Speech. Oh, dear God, Help me.
  

Happy New Year

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." - Nail Gaiman

Dear 2009

Dearest 2009,
It has been a crazy year, one I will not soon forget no matter how much Boone's Farm and red wine I drink in the attempt to. You saw some amazing beginning and some tragic endings. You also provided opportunities to learn and grow in every aspect of my life. At times, you were a cold heartless bitch. Other times, you were a kind teacher.
I can't say that I am so sad to see you go.
♥Firefly♥

Postscript: You did, however, have some fab pop music. So, I guess, all is forgiven.

The *I love you more than...* Game

I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
I love you more than all the fish in the sea.
I love you more than dreams, and starlight, and all that other poetic crap.
I love you more than Lady Grey tea on a cold day.
I love you more than seeing fireflies in the city.
I love you more than shopping for school/office supplies.
I love you more than dancing to Lady Gaga when no one is watching.
I love you more than reading Harry Potter on a rainy day.
I love you more than writing dirty limericks in public.
I love you more than origami butterflies.
I love you more than realizing I am not the girl I used to be.
I love you more than fairy tales, magic, and leather-bound books.
I love you more than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

How much do you love _____ more than?

♥Firefly♥

Thankful

Things I am grateful for today:

• Changes of heart and changes of profession
• Cold weather and a chance to wear fuzzy winter boots
• Clean, fresh-smelling bedsheets
• Hot water...or even cold running water. I watched the *30 Days* last night where Morgan Spurlock lives on the Navajo Reservation and some of them had no running water. It puts things in perspective when I complain about my brothers hogging the bathroom.
• Sandalwood incense
• Herbal tea
• Waking up early enough to see the sun rise over the frost covered grass
• Text messages from people I love

What are you grateful for today?

2009: The Review

Stolen from the amazing Love Letter To The Universe

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

• Take a summer class
  
• Drink alcohol in New Orleans
  
• Dance in a lesbian bar at midnight in Florida
  
• Gamble in a casino
  
• Win money while gambling in a casino
  
• See little old people naked [during hospital clinicals]
  
• Help wash a little old man [during hospital clinicals]
  

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My 2009 resolutions were to pass my A&P2 class and to get into nursing school, both of which I did. I haven't thought much about my resolutions for 2010 but ya'll will be the first ones to know.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No but a good friend of mine is due in a few weeks.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes. :-(
5. What countries did you visit? I didn't travel outside of the states this year but I did visit the states of Confusion and Madness quite a few times.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Maybe a little bit more inner peace and tranquility, both with require either a refill of xanax or meditation.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? My mine doesn't really work that way but I'll never forget my vacation to Pensacola in May or when I received my acceptance letter to nursing school.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting over my fear of penises. I'm just kidding. I'm still afraid of them.
9. What was your biggest failure? Not so much failure, but I did deal with a bought of depression during October and November.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No major illness. Just your average colds throughout the year. Although, I do have a case of dance fever right now that I am having a hard time getting rid of.
11. What was the best thing someone bought you? Mommy Dearest gave me an Ipod Touch for my birthday. :-)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Quite a few people. We should totally throw a parade for them.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Glenn Beck
14. Where did most of your money go? Tuition and textbooks. I wish I could say something more fun like constructing an underground lair or glitter or something.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Honestly? Tim Burton's *Alice In Wonderland* coming out in May
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
[Try not to laugh too hard.]

• LoveGame by Lady GaGa
  
• Shot by The Gay Blades
  
• 1901 by Phoenix
  
• I've Got Your Number by Passion Pit
  
• In For The Kill by La Roux
  
• Thank You For Last Night by Amy Kuney
  
• Satellite by Anne Nalick
  
• 3 by Britney Spears
  
• Careless Whisper by Seether
  

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? A bit happier. Thanks for asking.
b) fatter or skinner? About the same
c) richer or poorer? About the same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Kinked-out, freaky sex. [I'm totally kidding...or am I?]
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worry
20. How do you plan to spend Christmas? I spent Christmas with most of my family [missed you, Cat!] here at home. We made eggrolls. It was awesome.
21. Did you fall in love in 2009? No. But I fell in lust at least twice a day.
22. How many one night stands? A lady doesn't tell. Okay. It was none.
23. What was your favorite TV program?

• Mercy
  
• V
  
• Flashforward
  
• Grey's Anatomy
  
• Fringe
  

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No. Quite the opposite actually. I like to think that I become kinder as I age.
25. What was the best book you read?

• Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
  
• White Oleander By Janet Fitch
  
• Blankets by Craig Thompson
  
• All 7 Harry Potter books
  

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Amy Kuney. I also rediscovered by love for Seether.
27. What did you want and get? Antidepressants
28. What did you want and not get? A pony.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? It wasn't from this year but I saw *Children of Men* and I loved it.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 21 and spent the day in New Orleans with family.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A bit more organization and time management.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Tired college student meets fairy princess meets Rainbow Brite.
33. What kept you sane? Medication and magic.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Blah.
35. What political issue stirred you the most? Prop 8. The world could use more love.
36. Who do you miss? Several people.
37. Who was the best new person you met? Oh, you can't ask me that! There are far too many to name. A few extra amazing classmates come to mind.
38. What was the best thing you ate? Mmmm. The little Chinese place around the corner is fabulous.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009? I am responsible for my own experience. If I want it to be positive, it will be. If I go into something with a shitty attitude, my experience will reflect that.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I have a taste for talent wasted. Oh, waste it on me, waste it on me. [Appreciate Your Hands – Amy Kuney]

Ho, Ho, Ho. Under the Mistletoe

Dearest Lady Gaga. Thank you for finally putting me in the Christmas spirit.

Here's hoping that all my lovely readers enjoy this holiday and stay safe. I love you guys. :-)

♥Firefly♥

The Post In Which I Apologize for Being an Awful Blogger

You know what is interesting?

No. What's interesting, Firefly?

I thought that with school ending and me having endless hours to sit at home with family (not nearly as fun as it sounds), I would have so much more time to write and so much more material to write about. And, turns out, neither of those are true.
Unless you want to hear about the endless origami folding sessions resulting in enough paper cranes to [insert action that takes many, many paper cranes here], my recent love affair with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (yum), or my futile attempts to learn to knit; I am out of ideas.
Plus, I have become quite paranoid about the amount of personal things I post of the Internet. I mean, I recently Googled myself (Yes. I know, I'm a narcissist) and the results were a bit scary. My Myspace, Facebook, and several old blogs from my past showed up. Blogs if which any of my nursing professors found, they would most likely think twice before letting me take care of another human being.
So, three questions for ya'll [I totally just channeled Paula Dean]:

• What has been going on in your life?
• What do you write about in your blog when nothing is going on?
• How much information about yourself do you actually post on the Internet, social networking sites and blogs included?

Stuff That Doesn't Deserve Its Very Own Blog Post

• If I ever get a chance to change my name, like if I enter Witness Protection after I see a mob hit or something, I want my last name to be *Darling*. My other two choices are Stone and Belle (pronouces like Bell....but with an e on the end). I have seriously put a lot of thought into this.
• I bought a new pathology book yesterday, which was honestly the highlight of my day. My bookshelf looks like a medical/nursing library threw up on it.
• For an hour two days ago, I narriated my life in song. I also made Lee's girlfriend cry from laughing so hard because I started singing about them arguing abut Mafia Wars on Myspace. It is one of those *you had to be there* stories.
• It just occured to me today that James Cameron and Kirk Cameron are not, in fact, the same person. When I saw the preview for James Cameron's Avatar, I thought, "Isn't that the guy from Growing Pains who pimps for Jesus now (my pet name for Christianity)?" No. No, he is not.

*lazy daze*

Today might have been the most unproductive day I have ever had (in recent memory, at least). I mean, I didn't even change out of my pajamas. But here is what I did do:

• Check my email
• Make 20 origami cranes
• Eat a Ruben sandwich to celebrate Hanukkah
• Convert O2 into CO2

So, in reality, I was quite busy on a cellular level, even if looked like I was napping.

Things I'm Loving At the Moment

• Not So Humble Pie's Petri Dish Cookies. For some strange (and slightly horrifying) reason, I have the strongest desire to bake these cookies for my microbiology professor. But serious, how awesome are these things?

• Tis the season for colds, flus, and over all crappy feelings. Why not try Gala's Magical Guide to Getting Well? [Includes a fabulous recipe for a boozy *magic potion*]
• Since I have become obsessed with Facebook over the past year, I was happy to find Lamebook. I can honestly say that not of my friends are that bad [and neither am I].
• While we are on the subject of FAIL, check out Yahoo! Answer Fail. I didn't even realize that people could be that stupid. It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.
• How to Improve Your Reality. Because can't we all use a little improvement in that department?
• Emails From An Asshole: Don't Even Reply. I have a link to this guy on the sidebar but I thought I should list his site in this entry. Basically, he replies to postings on Craigslist and has crazy conversations with the people who send emails back. Believe me, it is a lot funnier than how I am describing it.
• Owl Tattoos. It is exactly what it sounds like.
• Gay Rights protest signs. I sincerely wish that one day, very soon, there will be no need for them (not because there are no longer any gay people, but because they have equal rights and protections under the law....just thought I'd clear that up).

Opioids

I feel as if I owe you guys something. A good story or confession or just something to make up for the total lack of reading material on this site.
So here we go.

When you are in nursing school (or medical school or phlebotomy school or anything in health care), it is inevitable that someone comes to you from health advice. I honestly expected the "Can you look at this mole?" or "My stools are looking a bit green. What should I do?" The question I was asked caught me totally off guard.
A few weeks ago, after one of the most brutal exams of the semester, I was sitting down the hall from the lecture room (far enough away from the nursing crowd so that I wouldn't kill myself when they discuss questions from the exam). A guy that I have been in absolute lust (as opposed to love) with walks by and sees me reading (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I believe it was).
He sits down to talk with me about his previous night in which he slept in a bed that was not his own and when a train went by at 4am, he jumped up and fell on the ground. Oh but don't worry about it because "We left the camera on so it's all on video tape." Lovely.
He then proceeds to say, "You're in nursing school, right? This girl I am seeing was in a car accident a few weeks ago and she is taking an opioid painkiller. I am deathly allergic to opiates, I mean I can't even have a poppy seed or anything. If I am eating her out, will I have an allergic reaction?"
Me: "Ummm"
Him: "Because that is my favorite thing to do."
Me: "Uhh"
Him: "Ever."
Me: "Well, if you did have an allergic reaction, at least you would die doing what you love."

My dear readers, you're welcome.
♥ Firefly ♥

Thankful

1. My family. I don't say it nearly enough but I am most thankful for them. Even when we argue, even when we don't agree, even when I am willing to walk cross country with glass in my shoes to get away from them. They have been a true support system in the past few years when I have needed them most and I will forever be grateful.

2. I am thankful for modern medicine, most specifically, antidepressents. I know I'll probably catch hell for this but two weeks ago I started taking one. It is truly a miracle. I am thinking clearer than I have before and for the first time in a very long time I can say that there isn't a dark cloud hanging over me.

3. I am thankful for nursing school. Not matter how much I dreaded the 0630 call time for clinicals or getting up at 0500 to get ready for class, I can feel myself learning and becoming more confident in what I know.

4. I am thankful for my classmates. Never before have I met people who are more dedicated or goal driven. They are all so smart and caring and I know that one day we are all going to be kick-ass nurses.

5. I am thankful for my readers. My dear, dear readers. What would be blog be without you? It would still be a page on the Internet and I would probably still post to it but, essentially, I would be taking to myself (which I'm sure is the first sign of schizophrenia). So thank you, readers for keeping me sane. Thank you for the comments and the lurking. You guys rock.

6. I am thankful for my sister, who installed anti-malware software on my computer and successfully got rid of many, many nasty little bugs that were hiding in my computer. Love you, Cat!

7. I am thankful for knowledge and all that is including in that. Books and academic journals and art and biology. The world is just so amazing and there is so much to learn and discover. I want to know all of it.

8. I am thankful for my nursing professors. Yes, they were terrifying and one even managed to make me cry (but it wasn't really a big deal because, at that time, I was cry every few hours). But they were also supportive and ready to help whenever I needed it.

9. I am thankful for the human body. Ever since I finished my A&P courses in the spring, everything about it amazes me. It is a fascinating universe all on its own.

Photo Credits:

1. Family Portrait, 2. Depressant vs. Antidepressant?, 3. My little nurse, 4. Turn of the Century Nursing School Anatomy Class Photograph, 5. Mindless Internet, 6. sisters, 7. Seek Knowledge, 8. Snape, 9. "W. & A. K. Johnston's Charts of Anatomy and Physiology," By Dr. Wm. Turner, Professor of Anatomy, University of Edinburgh

Have Coffee. Will Travel.

Good morning, everyone. I just wanted to tell you all that I am not dead. School is wrapping up for this semester within the next two weeks and I should be back to posting on a slightly more regular basis.
On the agenda for this morning is my Fundamentals of Nursing HESI (Health Education Systems, Inc.) exam. It is a standardized test that you have to take and pass to get out of each level of nursing classes. Super fun. On the plus side, it is only 50 (or is it 55?) questions, so it shouldn't take forever to do. Afterwards, Mother Dearest and I are going to do some shopping for Thanksgiving. Hopefully; while we are out, I can pick up the 6th Harry Potter book because I am almost done with the fifth. Yay!
I'm such a nerd but I know that is why you all love me so much. :-)

Don't Let Anyone Steal Your Light

Dear Firefly:

It is okay to be happy even if other people around you are stressed out and hate their life in that moment. Don't let the energy vampires get you down.

Love always,

Firefly

Britney in the Library with a Nursing Diagnosis Textbook

Story I forgot to tell ya'll:
On Wednesday after clinicals; I went home, ate lunch and then went to the college to finish my careplan that was due on Thursday morning. A friend from my group called to ask me what I was doing and I told him where I was. He drove drove to the school and we sat on the third floor of the library for 3 hours, working out our diagnoses for our clients, all while listening to Britney Spears coming from the laptop speakers....in the library. I felt like such a rule breaker.
It might have been the most fun I have had this semester.....which is kind of sad.
Anyway, I have been listening to "3" by Britney Spears for a while now and I think that I feel safe in saying that I believe it to be about threesomes. Yeah. Your welcome for pointing that out.

MishMash

Things I Hate Right Now:

• Not having time to do NaNoWriMo. I have always wanted to do it but I knew that this year, with nursing school and all the other stuff going on, there is just no way I would be able to fit it in without giving up sleep or sanity.
• My online sociology classes. I swear, they are useless. OMG, you mean men and women are treated differently?!?!?! Un-fucking-believable!
• Writing careplans. Enough said.
• Deciding not to date while in nursing school. What the fuck was I thinking? Homegirl needs to blow off some stream, STAT.
• The sexual innuendo in the previous bullet point. Also, calling myself homegirl. Lame.
• Not being able to sneeze without being glared at like I am Typhoid Mary. It is just allergies, people!
• Sharpie Retractable pens. I love Sharpie so I cannot even tell you how disappointed I am when last night I tried to use my retractable pen and it had dried out. It was only about the 12th time I had used it! Get it together, Sharpie, or Pentel will be getting my business.
• The new food I bought my dog. You try sleeping in the same bed as a gassy red heeler. Not fun.
• Not being able to figure out origami tessellations. Sooo frustrating.
• Not being in Texas right now. I have never been sad about not being in Texas. Ever. Until now, that is. My sister's birthday party is this weekend and I am quite sad to say that I cannot attend. :-(

Things I Love Now:

• Chamomile-Mint tea. Yummy.
• Being able to afford to get much needed dental work done. Not glamorous, but necessary.
• Sephora. I have never been seriously into makeup but I went to Sephora today because I was out of (or almost out of) my face powder (the stuff I put on over my concealer and foundation to keep it from coming off so easily). That place is amazing. I have never seen so many pretties and sparklies in one place before. I was good and only had one impulse buy...a nail polish in the color "Metro Chic." It was too unique to pass up...like a gray-purple color. I can only wear it until Monday night because on Tuesday I have to go to the hospital and get my patient information. sigh. But anyway, Sephora. Yes please.
• Hulu. I have said it before and I will say it again: I love that I can concentrate on school work during the week and still be able to catchup with my favorite shows on the weekends. Thank you, Hulu. You have made this overworked nursing student very happy.
• Monkey Trail Mix: Chocolate covered peanuts, banana chips, walnuts and pineapple chunks.

PS: Cat, Happy late birthday. I love you and I am very happy things worked out for you last week. I have been looking, but you would not believe how hard it is to find a card that says, "Congratulations on not having cancer!" The search continues.

School Daze

Due at the hospital for 0630. Fuck. Tell me again why I skipped out on a art major in favor of nursing? I mean, instead of looking up 25 medications and slaving over care plans, I could be painting murals or sketching flowers or dancing half naked around a bonfire with my friends while a sexy Spanish guy plays a bongo or something (not that I have put too much thought into that).
This whole routine is getting really old, really fast.

They tell me it is worth it, though. "They" must have forgotten how much it sucks getting through it.

Super.Girl

When it comes to fashion, I am a pretty simple girl. My everyday uniform is jeans, a t-shirt, and hoodie. It's easy, comfortable, and not at all complicated for when I have to leave the house by 7am. But today, I saw this:
OMG. Want. Want now.

If I were ever a superhero, this would be my costume [I would have no real powers but I would look awesome....and really, isn't that a power all by itself?]. Seriously. It is so beautiful. Plus, the name Luly (the designer's name....Luly Yang) kicks ass. My next pet will be named Luly. I would say "my child" but I am not having kids....so pet it is.

Logic

I remember reading somewhere that red wine is good for the heart and that having a glass every night is beneficial because of the antioxidants and all those yummy flavonoids or resveratrols or whatever they are called. Now, I am no mathematician but if you drink one glass of red wine a night for a week, that is 7 glasses. Correct? So I should be able to drink 7 glasses of red wine tonight and still have the same benefits.
That Intro to Logic class sure did pay off.